Uncle Dave's Blog

One year ago, after 24 mostly sucky years, I worked my last day at Sears. At an appliance department reunion dinner a few weeks ago, we all marveled that it didn’t seem like so much time had passed. For them this means that they have been busy working and, now that Sears Modesto is closed, busy looking for new jobs. For me it means that I have stayed busy, too, which I understand is not all that common for retirees.

I celebrated my first year of retirement by having an intense attack of gout in my left wrist. For those of you that have never suffered from gout, you have no idea how painful and annoying it is. First, it hurts like the devil, and even the slightest touch to the inflammation causes pain. And it pretty much throbs painfully even when it isn’t touched. Then there is the swelling, which in this case means I have not been able to close my left hand for the last three days. This is especially annoying because I drive mostly with my left hand, so even if I wasn’t dizzy with a fever, I can’t go anywhere. Finally is that fever, which has been between 100 and 101 most of the time.

I am especially vexed when I have a gout attack, which happens maybe once a year, because I can’t take Alleve or Advil or any other effective anti-inflammatory drugs. Extra strength Tylenol is pretty much useless. I did finally take some medicine which helped a bit and luckily I did not suffer from any of the disgusting possible side effects.

Living With One Hand

As a result of my gout attack, for the better part of 4 days, I did not have the use of my left hand. Not only was the pain too great, but my hand was swollen so much that I could not close it enough to make a fist or even put my thumb and a finger together to grab something. If you have never been in this position, it is stunning how inconvenient only having one useful hand can be. There are a hundred things that we do every day that requires the use of our non-dominant hand. No way to put on jeans; I had to wear sweats the whole time. Had to use my teeth to set the units on my insulin pens. Closing Ziplock bags also requires teeth. And don’t even get me started about trying to open a jar lid; this required the use of my normally inconveniently large belly. And I couldn’t drive, because I steer with my left hand most of the time.

My great nephew Will has only had the use of one hand all of his life. I so admire the many things that he has learned how to do out of necessity, things that we take for granted every day. He is a miracle and my hero, especially after I tried to walk in his shoes for only 4 short days.

Running A Little Behind

My nephew, Nate, kindly chastised me the other day because I had failed to publish this, my last diary entry, on the day of my 1 year retirement anniversary. I use the gout as an excuse, and then a long overdue installation of new flooring in 70% of my house. All of that is behind me, but I am glad that I waited because…

Life is Good!

With a year of retirement behind me, and hopefully many years of ahead of me, I realized this morning how truly lucky and blessed that I am. According to my Schwab Intelligent Portfolio, as long as I don’t live past 81, I am good to go. I haven’t gotten bored with retirement; in fact, I have more things to do than I can get to. And after foolishly not taking care of it when I first moved into my house 8 years ago, I finally replaced the flooring – really lousily installed carpeting – in my living room, hallway and bedrooms. It makes me feel so good to see nice, clean floors. And my tax refund, the biggest I’ve gotten in many years, will help pay for it. LOL Who am I kidding? I have already spent the tax refund 3 or 4 times over.

So, I am happy and feel great, and I guess that is all one can hope for after a year of retirement. I would keep writing this, but I have stuff to do.

Do you suffer from Retail Employee Traumatic Stress Disorder (RETSD)? If you have ever worked in retail, or any service industry where weekends and holidays mean nothing, you will know what I am talking about.

So what, exactly, is RETSD? I can only describe it by example. Today, on TV, I saw this year’s first ad for Presidents’ Day sales, and I immediately tensed up. The first thing that crossed my mind was, “Oh, shit, time to get ready for that again!” Obviously, having been retired for almost a year, I DON’T have to steel myself for that or any holiday sales, but just that brief moment caused me to feel the old stress.

Those of you who have never worked in retail may not understand what is so stressful about working during any holidays, short or long. Well, start with the constant pressure from upper level leadership to “get ready”. Make signs. Make sure the signs are out. Did you tell your customers about it? Did you call your leads? And on and on! It doesn’t matter that the holiday might not necessarily be a traffic draw; YOU HAVE GET READY!

Added to that pressure is that which comes from friends and family who have worked Monday thru Friday, 9 – 5 jobs their entire lives. They have no idea had hard it is to hear them talk about the three-day weekend, and the barbecue or party they are having on the holiday. It gets worse when they ask why you have to work on Thanksgiving or the 4th of July or any other holiday. They don’t get it that the banks are closed, school is out, and they don’t have to work, so why are you? You can’t imagine the sadness and depression comments like this cause.

A word of advice to those of you who have a relative who has to work on holidays and weekends. Don’t ask them why they can’t join you! Don’t tell them they should ask their boss for the day off! Don’t talk around them about what a great time you are going to have or what a great time you had. It hurts more than you could possibly imagine.

Another annoying thing about working on holidays are the customers who just don’t get it. How many hundreds of times did I hear this from a customer in my 42 years of working in the restaurant business and then in retail: “So, you have big plans for the weekend?” Me: “Yes, you stupid asshole, I am going to have the time of my life waiting on idiots like you!”

Another word of advice, to people who shop on holidays: STOP! ¡Alto! Any time around the holidays, don’t ask retail workers what they are going to be doing. Figure it out: WE’RE WORKING!

Retail employees have something in common with the Dowager Countess in Downton Abbey. When hearing someone talking about the servants having the weekend off, she replied, “What’s a weekend?” For her, every day of the week was a day off. For retail workers, not only is it “What’s a weekend?” but “What’s a holiday?”

Obviously, now that I am out of it, I no longer have to work holidays ever again. I have risen to the status of the Dowager Countess. Sometimes I am not even sure what day of the week it is.

But that doesn’t stop me from regretting all of the good times missed; picnics, parties, special family events, even Christmas for a few years. And even after almost a year, I still get anxious when I see anything that reminds me that a holiday is coming. I remember the bad times, and I empathize with all of those poor bastards who are still stuck in it.

So if you are one of those who suffer from RETSD, I am with you. We suffer together.

January 24th, my 11 month retirement anniversary, has come and gone, and I am a little late in posting this, but who cares? I’m retired!

It was such a joy to be off during the holidays for the third time in my working life. To not have to work on Thanksgiving or Black Friday was a blessing, and so was not having to get up early on the day after Christmas to go to work. New Years was fun, too, though like every other year I was in bed by 10:00. So I didn’t miss work, but I sort of missed not being there with my friends as the Modesto Sears store that I worked at for over 20 years went through the holiday season knowing it would be closing in January. I’m not sure how I would have acted, but I suspect I would have had the same attitude I had 30 years earlier when another place I had worked – Handy Andy TV & Appliances – went out of business.

During that “going-out-of-business” sale, a customer was upset about a price. I had already talked to the manager, but the customer wanted to see the manager to tell him what he thought of our store. My reply: “Well, since we are all going to be out of jobs in two weeks, none of us give a shit what you think of our store!” It was my favorite retail moment. I can still see the security guard escorting the man out.

Anyway, best wishes to all of my former co-workers as they collect unemployment and good luck to them in finding new jobs. I don’t think any of them will have problems, especially the appliance and mattress people, who are undoubtedly the best trained in the business. I know, because I trained most of them!

I woke up the other morning with a severe case of RGS – Retiree Guilt Syndrome. I suspect that all retirees suffer from this at one time or another: the feeling that you ought to be doing something, especially something productive.

RGS is irrational, of course. The whole reason one retires is to do what they want to do when they want to do it. And if you want to get up late, have a big breakfast and watch TV – or play with your computer – well, that is why you retired! But in the back of my mind there is that nagging thought that I should be doing something else. The shed needs cleaning, The guest bedroom where I store stuff needs to be organized and the things in it put away.

And the biggest evidence of my RGS is that I waited until February 11th to post this. My 1 year retirement anniversary comes in 13 days! Stand by………

As I am writing this, it is December 26th. I meant to write this on the real ten month anniversary of my retirement, Christmas Eve, but I was having too much fun snuggled up by a fire, watching Monday Night Football, enjoying a glass of wine. So now, in stead of writing about the anticipation of having the Christmas holidays off, I am writing about how great it was and is.

Saturday night, the 22nd, my sister and brother-in-law, along with my niece, gathered my up and we went to look at Christmas lights. I sat in the back seat all warm and fuzzy in my jammies, enjoying being with family in the knowledge that I had no schedule, no need to get up early in the morning to go to work.

Sunday we had our first Christmas, with my great-nieces and great nephew. This is one of those events that I might not have been able to be a part of in the past, as I would NEVER have been off on the Sunday before Christmas. Again, retirement means I can always say “yes” when it comes to family events.

There is nothing new about me having Christmas Day off, but being able to be off the day AFTER Christmas is new. No getting up at some stupid-ass hour to listen to whiny customers who need to make returns. I didn’t do much today, but I didn’t have to work, and that is what retirement is all about.

But the craziest thing of all about being retired at this time of year is that, when I see the promos on TV for a college bowl game I really want to watch, especially the semi-final games, I automatically think to myself, “Gosh I hope I am off so I can watch it.” That millisecond later when I remember that I am OFF for the rest of my life so heck ya I can watch it, is pure joy!

See you in January.

This is what I have been waiting for, the thing that makes retirement so meaningful to me: the holidays! Anyone who has retired from retail or the service industry in general  knows what I am feeling.

When I graduated from college, my first job as as a restaurant manager trainee for Denny’s, and my training period, far enough from home so they put me up in a hotel, was during the Christmas holidays. In those days, over 40 years ago, Denny’s never closed!** It was depressing, my first Christmas away from home. From that day on, I spent a lot of holidays – Easter, 4th of July, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s – working. If I didn’t have to work on the day of, I often had worked late the night before and/or had to get up at some ungodly hour the day after. It never got better, only worse, especially when stores started being open on the holidays themselves, especially Thanksgiving!

The thing that made this even worse, was family who did not understand. I am the only member of my family who has ever had to work this much during the holidays. Many of my family members are teachers or professors – enough said. Others are self-employed or in jobs where they took all or most of the long weekends and the weeks around Christmas off.  I can’t count how many times I heard, “Can’t you ask for the day off?” or “Why can’t you be there?” My family never understood how much those questions hurt, because they were so ignorant of what working in retail was about.

All that is over now! It is impossible to explain to those who have not experience it how relieving and relaxing it is to sit down for Thanksgiving dinner knowing you don’t have to go to work in 5 hours; to be able to stay after dinner and enjoy the family; to feel part of everything in stead of being the “odd man out”.

This is the first year in many that I have been able to put up all of my Christmas decorations, inside and out, by the day after Thanksgiving. Most of it was done before Thanksgiving. All I had to do on the day after was replace my front porch Thanksgiving wreaths, decorations and garden flags with my Christmas wreaths, decorations and garden flags, and turn on the lights! In the past this has always been a burden; this year it was fun!

So now I get to relax and enjoy it all, grateful that my first “free” holiday season is a long one, which Thanksgiving coming relatively early this year. I can’t wait for Christmas Day and New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day!

If you still are stuck in retail hell, I was thinking of you on Thanksgiving as I had my third piece of pie, and praying that you will soon get your parole!

Dave

(**When they built a new restaurant, Denny’s threw away the keys to the front door. About 10 years later, when they started closing on Christmas day, many Denny’s had to call a locksmith in to make keys for the front doors.)

Big Family Home – when a retired guy who wanted to be an architect gets bored.